News about Dethboy the comic strips for drunken maniacs worldwide!News about Dethboy the comic strips for drunken maniacs worldwide!
06/16/03 - A Wretched Mass Of Booze And Frustration
Jeebus @#$%! Has it been eight months already?!?

I should be getting back to work shortly, but this prolonged absence needs some sort of explanation. You see, it started off with a short planned break for holiday time partying, but after new years the @#$%ing gay @$$ landlord decided he wanted to repaint the whole gawddamn apartment. So i had to pack up all my $#!  and move it to various rooms of my place as the @#$%ing dimwit painters demanded. After they finished (a bloody month and a half later) I was in the middle of unpacking all my crap and the the bastard landlord calls me up and informs me he's raiseing the rent by 40%. Now even with the gobs of dough i rake in with this @#$%ing piece of crap site i couldn't afford that kind of @$$ reaming. Then i had to run around like a maniac and find a @#$%ing affordable place to pass out. Blah blah blah getting @$$ rammed by various financial institution blah blah blah moving was a bitch blah blah blah. Faak... i think it was the most @#$%ing horrible gawd@#$ing awful six month of my life (and i've had some really bad ones) good thing i had plenty of booze to help me by....

Now, truth be told, i haven't unpacked most of my art $#!  yet, but thanks to a rare decent nights sleep (and a dream involving murderous cyborgs) i've decided to get back to work. So until i get situated i will be working on finally completing the conversion to the new design. Look for new strips soon.

Now on to the important stuff...

"St. Anger" - Metallica
I doubt i'll be able to keep this to a couple of lines, but here goes. I don't really don't know what i think of this yet. At time it seems like they've repented from "Load Of Smelly-@$$ Crap" and "Re-Load Of Foul Excrement From A Dysentric Swine". It is definitly heavy and at times some of the riff are the fastest stuff they've done in over ten years. At other times listening to it i'm "What the @#$% were they thinking?". But it's been getting better with repeated listening and definitly has some bright moments that rock my @#$%ing gourd like a bad case of the shakies. I think most of the problems come from the mixing and choice of instrument tones. (lars's drums sound consistently like dubya falling from a segway) The Bonus DVD is very nice though and i think the songs sound a lot better on it.
\
So the conclusion is... buy your own @#$%ing copy and make up you own gawddam mind, @$$hat!

New site in the links section

10/15/02 - I'm Still Here..
Well, basically i have no exscuse for the fact that there hasn't been a strip for a month. I deliberately jumped off the waggon and had a hell of a time. Well now i've gotten rid of the shakies, so it's back to work. I've been feeling rather good lately so look for updates more often. Oh, and i added a new site to the links section

Some CDs you might want to check out:
"Night Of The Stormrider" Remaster - Iced Earth
An oldie but a goodie, admittedly not there best, but it beats the #$%@ out of most of the stuff out there.

"Haven" - Dark Tranquillity
Also a couple years old, but it really quenches my hankering for baroque, depressed death metal.

"The Neonai" - Lake Of Tears
The latest offering from the Kings of swedish goth metal. Supposedly their last. Go buy a copy to convince them that would be a bad idea. What!?! You're still here? Go! Buy! Now!

08/30/02 - No Baseball Strike... Crap!
Sigh... I was really looking forward to seeing those whiney millionares ruin their sport even further.

Oh Well... I guess we can look forward to weeks and weeks of The Simpsons getting pre-empted because of the damn playoffs and world series. Bastards!

08/02/02 - A New Hope...
Well as you can plainly see i've got a new design up. I will be working on converting the rest of the site the next few days. Then there will be new strips. Hopefully I will be inspired enough to keep updating at least a couple of times a week.

Um... there is a new letter. Please notice that i've moved the newest mail to the homepage.
There is also a new Stupid Opinyun Pole, Knock yourselves out...
Cleaned up the links section. Got rid of some... added some... fixed some...

Can't think of anything else to write about, so get off my @#$%ing case.

04/08/02 - More bad news...

I just read last week that Megadeth broke up...
oh well.. i suppose it's for the best, because they've been really sucking recently. Now if only metallica will folloe their lead.

uhm... what else... hrm... it appears i lied last time in saying that i would update more often. I am definitly trying this time, but its hard to fit it in with my busy schedule of getting $#!+faced and wallowing in self pity.

03/01/02 - Ugh.. that took a while...

Well to make a long story short, here is what happened the last thre months...
On new years i fell of the wagon in a serious manner. Then i got Civilization 3 and dropped off the face of the earth for a while. Then i fell off the wagon again.

This time i will definitly be updating more often... 12/18/01 - A Sad Day For Death Metal (well... sadder...)

I just found out today that on December 13, 2001 at 4 PM EST, Chuck Schuldiner of Death, often considered to be the inventor of death metal, died from his brain tumor. If anybody would like to help his family defer the costs of his medical bill please contribute to the fund at http://www.hammerheartamerica.com/makeadifference.html. If not, at least buy bome of his albums, I'm sure some of the royalties will filter down to them some how. You can also sign the condolence book at http://www.emptywords.org/

Chuck, your music got alot of people through alot of hard times...

well, I'm going to queue up a Death marathon and be depressed.

When you think of me in your
Multidimensional mind, Try and wash the
"Evil" from your mind and open it

When you taste the truth you will
See like others before, To you
I am past. A story to tell
Tell it
A Story To Tell - Death
11/22/01 - Turkey Day

Welp... Thats the end of the Zombie Turkey From Hell series. Sort of fitting that the last strip is on Thanksgiving, seeing that I came up with the whole misbegotten idea on Thanksgiving 2 years ago...

Whatever...

Some Stuff You Should Buy:
Tenacious D - Quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever heard!

Oracle - Kittie
More solid death metal from the queens of scream...

09/03/01 - Okay, I lied last time.

I really intend to keep up with the updates this time. Still not daily tho...

I recently started some $#!+ with Liberty Meadows. I noticed a similarity between one of my strips and one of his. (more of a total rip off in my opinion) Check out the strips, then go there and read the thread, then post your opinion. Please try to swear as much as humany possible. Do me proud!

Link to the thread.

Okay, now for some good albums

The Gallery - Dark Tranquillity
Not their best by far, but still better than the crap on the radio.

Chaotic Beauty - Eteranal Tears Of Sorrow
WOW! This one blew my mind. It's got every thing!

Bitter Suites To Succubi - Cradle Of Filth
Man these guys should have written the music to "Queen Of The Damned". Not as good as Cruelty And The Beast tho.

L.D. 50 - Mudvayne
Anybody who names a song "Nothing To Gein" has my approval!
05/25/01 - Getting back into the swing of things.

As you can see not only did i put up a new strip, i added an opinion poll. Will supply new questions a soon as i can think them up, and possibly archive the old ones.

Some albums worth checking out:

Graveyard Classics - Six Feet Under
I never knew purple haze sounded so good!

Lateralus - Tool
I know i don't have to tell you bout this one...

01/29/01 - Bush is really starting to piss me off!

Well i guess that doesn't really qualify as news... but with all this crap he's tring to get through congress i suggest anybody who is not an upper-class male WASP get out of the country soon... or think about violent revoloution...

On a more cheerful note, me and acouple of guys have been tossing around some ideas for who should be the new singer for Rage Against The Machine... i think we have it figured out... the Beastie Boys... just think about it a little bit and you'll see what i mean...

If you have some money to waste...

Rage Against The Machine - Renegades
This rocks so much i almost trashed my studio...

I know this may be a bit after the fact now... But i need to take up some more space...
Drain STH - Freaks of nature
Swedish Chick Metal... The only thing sweeter that this is swedish fish... mmm... swedish fish....

01/17/01 - Jason Newsted Quits Metallica.

Bout time too!

I guess he finally got sick of all of Lars' bull$#!*...

He may not realize this consciously, in fact he said the reason he quit is that "it's becoming to wearing on me" or some crap like that. But the truth is that when you don't believe in what you are doing then even the easiest job in the world can become a burden. Corporatallica is hardly the band he was a fan of before he joined, or even half the band that he joined.

So everybody raise their cups to Jaysun who had the strength and integrity to get out before he became irredeemable.

Now for some good albums....

Midian - Cradle of Filth
Excellent as always... primo goth-metal....

Paperdoll EP - Kittie
Crap! If you thought their album was good you gotta hear Morgan screech like a chainsaw live!

IV - The @#$%ing Champs
All I can say is this two guitars, one drummer and 18 strings... Instrumental metal at it's finest!

Whatever you do don't buy this!

Least Worst Of - Type O Negative
I feel ripped off... and I haven't even bought it yet...

8/2/00 - Back in business

Hey, I've finally sobered up from that korn, kid rock, system of a down show... wow, was that a lot of fun...

Well, I'm back to work, not that any one cares judging by the amount of letters i get...

What i'd really like to do now (besides getting drunk) is drive down to Philly and join in those really neato riots. But alas i can't... stupid mutha%$#@ing job!

If any body out there lives close enough to Philly to drive in before this stupid convention is over i strongly suggest you do so and join in all the fun..

If you want something really cool to listen to pick up "Forever Autumn" by Lake of Tears... really good $#!*...

I guess thats alll....
Until alcoholism becomes the new internet paradigm...
%$#@ OFF!
STUPID $#!*S!!!

5/11/00 - I just got screwed by people i helped to make millionaires!

In case your wondering, International Metallica Week is now canceled, until metallica delivers an apology to all the 300,000 fans they just royally @#$%ed. I wonder if they realize how stupid they make all the people who have defended them since load came out look... It's enough to make you sit back and wonder about their "unsold out stuff!"

In case your looking for somthing to listen to thats not made by corporate whores, this is what i'm listening to...

World Coming Down - Type O Negetive (watch out this CD is addictive!)
Thunderbeast - Night in Gales
Nightfall in Middle Earth - Blind Guardian
Days of Purgatory - Iced Earth

Now i'll just sit back and comptemplate burning all my metallica crap.... $#!* thats gonna take a big bon fire!
I really wish i had a couple of cases right now!

Down with CORPORATALLICA!

3/30/00

Damn, I really want to get drunk right now..
just thought you'd like to know

CDs you should check out...
(Not that you really care about my opinion)

Kittie - Spit
Grip Inc. - Solidify
System of a Down
Any thing by Cradle of Filth
Slipknot

Also if you haven't yet go by www.napster.com and download their totaly awsome music thingie.... heh i've had the damn thing 3 days and ive go 450 songs...

If you want a trip check out my folder... i'm dethboy666.

Otherwise just %$#@ off!

11/22/99

Just read today that Charles Shulz has cancer. That disturbed me somewhat...
It's not that I like Peanuts that much, but I was just thinking that it's been nearly the only constant thing in my life... you know, every Sunday you open up the comics and it's sitting there on the front. It's hard to imagine the unfunny papers without Peanuts sitting there taking up valuable space...

On a brighter note ... the new Metallica album comes out tomorrow.. I can't wait to get it in my hot little hands and have a hella hedbanging session! And don't worry.. I'll make sure to tell you @#$%s about it!!

Muhahahaha!

(yes, I know it has a symphony on it... @#$% you...)

11/17/99
You may have noticed that our strip wasn't on the site today till about 6:00 pm. I would like to take this opportunity to officialy blame it on the server...

Fort: Wait a second dumb$#@%, don't lie to them. It wasn't the %$#@ing server...

Kreeg: Um... Well... we were working so hard we just plum forgot to upload the strips...

Fort: No, NO you %$#@ing %*&%weed! Tell the truth, how you're so %$#@ing pussy whipped that you can't even keep your mind on simple tasks anymore! FAAK!

Kreeg: HEY! You stupid loser lush, maybe you would have noticed yesterday if you weren't drunk already by 11 o' $#@%ing clock!

Fort: That may well be... but I wouldn't have to drink so much if you'd keep your mind on your work instead of in your girlfriend's pants! You &%$#ing dickwipe!

Kreeg: That tears it, you drunken @$$munch! (POKE)

Fort: OW! that was my EYE! I'll need that to make sure I buy cheap beer! Taste my smelly boots of RAGE! (stomp stomp)

Kreeg: MMMPH ERMMMPH!

Fort: That'll learn ya to mess with my fearsome alcohol habit!(chug chug)

Kreeg: You're just jealous because you've drunk so much beer you can't even get it up... much less actually start a RELATIONSHIP!

Fort: Yeah, well, Maybe... But at least I don't have tits on the brain so much that I'm acting as goofy as a second-rate bimbo!

This has been another message from Iron City Comics™,
Dedicated, as always, to bringing you the most professional swearing on the web.

11/16/99

WOOHOO!! We've managed to stay sober enough to finish 100 strips, and we were always drunk as @$%#!! I guess it doesn't tkae that much talent to do thid, after all... Although, I suggest, you should always wear knee and elbow pads when getting falling down drunk...

10/10/99

%$#@! %$#@! %$#@! The %$#@ing Simpsons aint %$@#ing on tonight because of a %$#@ing baseball game. Bloody Bleeding %$#@ing FAAK!

$#!*! well I suggest that every one get likkered up, and RIOT!

10/8/99

Got turned down for a Xeric grant today... Faak! Who needs them. I've got a fresh case of beer. 

9/19/99

Hey yesterday we got more than 100 hits.. I guess we don't suck so bad after all. In celebration I give everyone permission to drink several cases of beer, and if your boss has a problem with that tomorrow just send him to me... I'll be passed out in an alley some where.

In other news, looks like the comic will be published some time in mid October. Start bugging your comic shop for it! Why aren't we getting any mail? Can't you guys think of anything nasty to say about us?

9/8/99

Official Proclamation!
The last week of September has now been officially designated International Metallica Week. Show your support by wearing your Metallica shirts, caps and jackets, and blaring their music at an illegal volume all week long. The real celebration is on Sept. 27th (Klyph's Anniversary) which is preferable spent in a drunken stupor! Send us your plans.

8/13/99

OOOO.. Friday the 13th Spooky Spooky!
Stupid crappy BULL$#!*!!!

8/11/99

SIGN OF THE ARMAGEDDON!
I was prerusing a list of the most popular internet search words today and I found out something rather disturbing. MP3's are more popular than SEX!!! If people would rather jam out than knock boots (or at least do the hand jive) can the end of our species be far off? Everyone, band together now to save sex on the internet before it's TOO LATE!
I will keep you posted on further developments...

8/9/99

Alright!!! Now to clue all you !@#$ers in about our plans
As soon as we sober up enough and get all our $#!* straight, we're going to be publishing a Dethboy comic book. We'll keep you crazy !@#$s posted on our progress. It will be available here and hopefully in a comic shop near you!!! But untill then you can only get your Dethboy fix here.Hey! Don't forget to tell all your friends about us. Hell, don't stop there, tell your enemies, complete strangers and even visitors from the spiritual planes. Post our URL anywhere you can, !@#$ you can even hang up fliers if you want.
Well, untill I get around to changing this.. EXCELCIOR! UP THE IRONS! and all that crap.

$#!* Where'd I put my beer?