Dethboy has the most hateful mail on the internet!  Dethboy has the most hateful mail on the internet!


Okay, here's the scoop. You send us your letters, comments, criticism, drunk ramblings and tripped out ravings. Anything basically - we just might print the !@#$er. Letters will only be edited by replacing naughty words with comic swears (eg !@#$). Well, we might take other stuff out if things get real fresh and funky. So go ahead and give it a shot, you have nothing to lose except your pride, self respect and maybe your beer money.

Send mail to:
hatemail@dethboy.com

Here's a @#$%ing Dim Bulb

November 20, 2001

Subject: dammit to hell


Dammit I am sick of people. I am so sic of people who judge the quality of music by how "hardcore" the lyrics are. It's so fucking stupid. Anyone can write lyrics like that you twit. I listen to Slipknot(IOWA sucked). Guess what? I also listen to John Denver you fag. Am I trying to be hardcore? NO!! I happen to enjoy music. I don't try and keep up this "Look at me I'm so evil and bad! Fear me! I am a big "gothic" scarey guy who writes hatemail!" Don't u dare talk about trying to be hardcore, kuz in my opinion, you are just as bad. Cannibal Corpse is the most untalented band I have ever heard, amusing as they may be. And their lyrics are terrible. I see your kind on the street and I vomit. The ulcers are becomming numerous. You people who say "keep it real!" are just as fake as the rest.

P.S. anyone reading this; download Therion. They are an excellent band that combines opera, symphony, and metal, and the guitar riffs and orchestra are absolutely genious. Just as good as any popular band. Especially from "The Secret of the Runes" album

John Murphy

You @#$%ing idiot... Don't you get that the whole point of the strip was to make fun of the pecular way gap tends to market its products and not to evangelize any sort of music. in fact i picked those particular three musicians because i felt their admitidly silly, yet individual, costumes were in some way the antithesis of the gaps cookies cutter opinion of how people should dress. (but i wouldnt be suprized if a clueless @#$%ing buttrunner would be pissed of that im making fun of the gap)

Some other points, for someone who admits he listens to john denver you shouldn't beusing a phrase that is so hurtful to your own kind as "fag".

I am not hardcore, because i listen to heavy music with insane lyrics. i am hard core because i have no compassion for $#!+brained idots like you. I am hard core because if i met you aon the street i would not only vomit on you, i would pisson you. Then i would rip out your intestines and shake them in front of your still living face. Then i would smear your unworthy blood on my face like warpaint and then gather the excrement that has poured forth from your intestines in a bucket and head off to a gap to do some serious damage. I would do all this while guzzleing several bottles of 100 proof vodka with no concern to mhy own health AND while listening to slipknot, cannilbal corpse and mudvayne.

Don't you ever DARE call me gothic! $#!+ for brains... Goths are stupid, misled narccisists with a heavy hand on the make-up and strange fashion sense. I on the other hand am merely an angry drunk.

P.S. regarding your comment on therion...

At least you have a little bit of good taste denver-boy...

But you being a seriously peabrained mutha@#$%er have started up with the wrong man, you have assumed just because i have some affinity for aggressive music that i have no sense of melody... let me suggest some bands for you...

Lake Of Tears
Night In Gales
Dark Tranquillity
In Flames
Blind Guardian
Iced Earth
Death
Eternal Tears of Sorrow

And how bout the original genius for symphony and vocals... Beehtoven! Yes! I reccomend Beehtoven you stupid-ass muther@#$%ing ameoba judgeing ME for supposedly judging other music. I would say you are a supreme ass.. but i'd loathe to connect any supurlative to you in any way. So why don't you go back to jerking yourself to you "Quality" john denver music, and don't sully my website anymore.

P.P.S Just to prove the depths of your idiocy everyone please scroll down to the letter headed "F.T.W" to see my real opinion of bigtime slipknot fans...

People should bitch at me every day...

November 20, 2001

Subject: Down with punks up with drunks!

FORT N KREGG

Well, I put this link on my homepage to ur site and now all my friends think its kick ass cause we hate punks (Metallica) and love drunks (DETHBOY)!  I was picked as the chairman to write this letter cause I have a lot of free time!

In the first paragraph you say this is a daily strip.  Ur a liar.  I have been checking out ur page almost daily for a few months now and I don't think I have seen but maybe three new cartoons and no color ones except in the archives WHAT'S UP?  

I need more stupid opinion polls in my life.  DAMMIT quit getting %#*&ed up and draw me some damn pictures!  BUSH SUCKS!  Sorry to sound so damn bossy but come on the damn zombie chicken is lame kill it already.  So help me out or everyone's gonna think the site is gay pretty soon!  Have a nice day!

  Kisses

ThDevilsKittyKat

First of all, let me start off with this... If you ever send me an email in all colored text again I will hunt you down and somehow make sure you never come near a computer again!

In the first paragraph I explicity state that the dailyness of this strip is reliant on my soberness. But don't worry, I'm struggling to get back in the swing of things again. My three main occupations (drinkin, depression, porn) have been taking up quite a bit of my time latley. But since i got a high spees connection, i think i have looked at EVERY PIECE OF PORN on the web, so it's pretty boring now...

Sigh...

There is only one more zombie turkey strip left, after that i should be getting back to updating at least a couple times a week... I've had alot of ideas piling up over the past year or so...

Bah! Dammit!

P.S. Kreeg is alreadly on his way over to give you a goog @#$%ing thrashing for misspelling his name... Or maybe he'll just confiscate your bong...

Any body who is brave or bored enough to deal with ultra slow servers can check out her site at http://hometown.aol.com/thdevilskittykat/

This is the reason I don't like friendly mail...

January 15, 2001

Subject: F.T.W.

!@#$ the world is what I say. Drink beer, smoke weed, get into fights, and do it again the next day. What else is there?Suv's and money? Big houses and straight A's? I don't think so. !@#$ THAT!! I like your views on things (hatemail, your response etc...)
Keep it up man. -cheers-

p.s.\ !@#$ it all, !@#$ this world, !@#$ everything that you stand for, don't belong, don't exist, don't give a $#!*, don't ever judge me. -SlipKnot-

thc_worked4me

I can see that THC worked for you... Let me tell you some thing dillweed, you have all the elocution of a doorknob....

And another thing, don't think for even one little smoke filled second that your little pre-skool wannabe nihilism has any thing to with my views... I'm so sick of every thing that i'm sick of booze, drugs and fights... (don't mean i don't do it tho.. pissy @$$ highskool teenybopper $#!*head) and i'm so @#$%ing existential i don't even believe that i exist..

Oh... i see you listen to slipknot... woo boy you must be really HARDCORE.... lemme step back for a moment... $#@% YOU! Bastard! you wanna listen to some real hardcore $#!* go listen to some early cannibal corpse or some goddam six feet under, rather that some freekin posers riding the wave of aggressive music now that it is popular. $#@% they are so embarrassed about what they are doing that they can't even show their goddam faces. pooftahs! So please don't write me again until you can quote me something good... like "stripped, raped and strangled (tori amos remix)"

Bastard!
Goddam!

Bull #$%@ing $#!*! I can't believe this... you got me all worked up with your faggoty@$$ CRAP... and it's a %$#@ing monday! I got no %$#@ing booze around.... YOU WILL PAY! NUMBNUTS!!! If i ever see you i just might put you out of your misery... not out of an act of mercy mind you... but just to steal that booze and weed that you supposedly have...

Now let's check out this piss weak website that you sent me... http://www.ya-Hooka.com

Problem #1: No %$#@ing link to my site.... not in the search OR if i navigate down to the comics section.... when will you stupid bastards ever learn.... there are three things that make a site that is not dethboy.com worth while.... it is linked to dethboy.com it is endorsed by dethboy.com.... you can steal something from it... don't trust the weak little piles of pasta in you head that you call "brains" to give you any sort of clear judgment...

Problem #2: do we really need another %$#@ed up stoner website online... get off it already... either devote yourself to consuming legal and readily available drugs(e.g. booze, caffeine and nicotine) or try to use your urge for "activism" to better somebody elses life like feeding the hungry or lowering the drinking age to 8...

Problem #3: Jeezus H. $#!*ting CRAP! does smoking dope make you color blind and destroy all sense of design you have!?! i think i'm starting to understand "psychedelic art". nuff said.

In conclusion.... you suck.

 

OohBoy! Another moron steps up to the plate!

January 8, 2001

Subject: YOUR CRAPPY SITE

WHAT A @#$%IN EYEFULL OF CRAp !!!!!!!!!keep up da bad work..  chas.

CFRENZEL1

Goddamit!
At least take your time and send me some quality hatemail... this isn't even worth my time.

 

Hey check this $#!* out, i got a positive letter! I don't know if i like this though..
it's no fun to respond to...

August 8, 2000

Subject: I have enough beers to do this

hey you ever hear of The Metal Millita well were @#$%in party hardy, blunt smokin, beer drinking, bitch @#$%n, pan@#$%intera blaring, pig hatin mother @#$%ers..................so we kool with you? why dont we unite to say "$%@! YOU!!" to all those back door spice girl #@$%heads that really begin to piss us off............................................ well I am runnin out of beer and weed so i gotta go get some lata.........

check our site out www.metalheads1.homestead.com/mainpage.html

nipholeo

Okay... lemme check this out....
This is very interesting, your site manages to be insanely cluttered and absoloutly useless at the same time....
Yet some how very pleasing in an over the top metalhed sorta way... Good work...
That hacking $#!* you got there looks rather interesting.... but there is now way i'm gunna try it out...
However you are missing the one thing that can validate a site of this nature's existance (not porn... well... okay, porn never hurts...), A link to dethboy.com....
You really should take that metallica logo offa there tho..... they are not a band anymore they are a @#$%ing multi national corporation trying to squeeze us proles for every mutha@#$%in last dime, @#$%in @#$%ers, @#$% $#!* goddam @#$% you got me going now... PLEASE every one don't mention $#@%edtallica to me or send me to a site that mentions them, except on weekends and holidays, when i can go out and get %$#@ed up to calm myself down...

p.s. what did you have enough beers to do?

 

I don't know if this ones worth my time, but i'm bored.(and out of beer)

June 12, 2000

Subject: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

PRESENTING THE GREAT HOODOO...........................
THE GREAT HOODOO WILL PREFORM FEATS OF DESTIVITY TONIGHT FOR YOUR SICKLY PLEASURE
DON'T WORRY YOU'LL LOVE IT

I READ YOUR DUMB @$$ COMIC YOU REALLY ARE GAY AREN'T YOU?
FIRST OF ALL YOUR MAIN DUDE ( DETHBOY ) IS THIS LITTLE SHIT WHO CAN'T SEE ANYTHING..................HE SHOULD BANG GOTH GIRL EVERY ONE WANTS IT EVERY ONE HOPES FOR IT EVERY ONE DREAMS FOR IT ................NOT REALLY THEY ALL JUST WANNA SEE SOME NUDITY
HELL I DO
CAUSE I'M NOT A SICK FAGGOT LIKE YOU WHO JUST THINKS ABOUT BEER DON'T GET ME WRONG I LOVE BEER BUT I LOVE PUSSY MORE I KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO SAY SOMETHING STUPID LIKE HOW BEER IS BETTER THEN CHICKS ITS SOME WHAT TRUE BUT YOU CAN'T SCREW A BEER OR IN YOUR CASE YOU CAN ( I KNOW YOU FOUND A WAY )
SO FAGGOT UNTIL YOU GOT NUDITY IN YOUR COMIC MAKE MINE MARVEL YOU QUEER I BET YOU GET OFF TO A PIC OF SOME CHEEZY HEAVY METAL DUDE LIKE MANSON OR SOME $#!* LIKE THAT
SO LONG FAGGOT

Greathudu1

Okay, you %$#@ing little $#!* sucker , prepare to be enlightened,

Don't talk to me about faggotry you perv, because every one in the world knows that every one on A O HELL is a %$#@ backside boy... what the hell is up with those caps lock? can't you %$#@ing read with lower case letters?
$#!*, man you have a %$#@ing unhealthy fixation on seeing Gothchick nude, get help. Don't worry though I understand that your excessive homophobia is rooted in the fact that you truly enjoy the %$#@ fifteen anal probes you receive from your dear old daddy every day, you just haven't admitted it to your self yet.
The reason you have this need to parade your %$#@ing so-called desire for pussy is that you truly don't have any, dumb%$#@. You're to busy dreaming of engulfing your sick old fathers flaccid prick in your mouth to actually go out side and see some real girls. Therefore you sit at home all day jacking of to your precious marvel super hero cards to try and prove to your self that you really don't enjoy having $#!* stuck up your @$$. Then you go and down load some nude pix of that chick in pokemon, and beat it all over that, and then OH %$#@! you just blew a load all over your keyboard! (that explains your stuck caps lock key being stuck, i swear this guys email was so sticky it %$#@ed up my server, he musta been choking it dreaming about his next lesson in incest while writing it..)
Now little fagit boy child, don't let your daddys advances lead you to misogyny(women do that just fine themselves...) embrace your twisted sexuality, make some money, go down to the comic shop and suck off the owner so you can get some of your beloved marvel comics for free.

Also just for %$#@ sake i will add to a very tired and overplayed genre of joke.
Reasons a beer is better than a woman:
1: When beer makes you puke, you still want more....
2: Beer will kill you a lot faster than a woman (and with a lot less pain)
3: Beer can drive you into a homicidal rage..($#!* so can a woman, for get this one...)
4: When beer embarrasses you, at least you piss off a lot of people also! (always a plus)

Now you %$#@ing prick licker, if you can get your papas fun monkey out of your @$$ long enough to read this, please tell me what the hell does destivity mean, hell i'm all for making up words, but you have to make sure people can under stand them, %$#@munch.

Go with my eternal despite and my growing concern for your sadly over stretched sphincter,

the righter

P.S. if any body knows the reason all A O Hellers always use caps lock, drop me a line

 

Woo! Hoo! This one's a smoker!I love my job!

June 7,2000

Subject: You Moron

Wow violence, another version of anger being portrayed as a cartoon. Do you want to get beaten up by a girl too? Therapy huh?!
Speaking of which, as a she-male do you wear matching black panties and bra, or are you so insignificant down below that you have no reason to tuck?
So that was my therapy, there was not a curse, nor any symbolism to your fetish of being ass whupped by a woman.
Now what do you have to say about that?

See... now that you have gotten some of that latent aggression out you feel alot better.
Now there is one %$#@ing this we have to discuss you cock wiping piece of $#!*. What about this latent misogyny you have trouble dealing with? The only time when it bad to get your @$$ kicked by someone is if they are weaker than you. My point should be evident you horse%$#@ed anus stuffer...
You have acutely observed though, a repeating theme in my work of guys getting their @$$es kicked by chix. This has its root in a recurring dream of me getting my @$$ kicked by Angelina Jolie(GODDAM shes hot!). By the way i read some where that she wants to sleep with every one in the world.... this is just to inform her i'd be glad to help her along her way...
As for my taste in lingerie, I personally prefer black leather stuff with spikey stuff on it. I'm sure you'd be glad to model some for me because you have first hand experience with that she male stuff.
Now to the %$#@ing point, you know why I cuss all the time? because i %$#@ing love it you bitch... it's even more fun when i come across a bastid like you... because it gets under you mutha %$#@ing skin so easily. What I really love doing is going to public places and going like this:
"%$#@ you! All you %$#@ing mutha%$#@Ers! %$#@ you and you're bull$#!* world! You bitches go home a diddle you're %$#@ing kid, but the you make the best $#!* in the world illegal. Well i don't give a %$#@ any more! You know why? Cause I got this %$#@ing gun right here! And yer all gunna be my %$#@ing whores tonight!"
and thats when the cops usually show up. But it's worth it to see how mere words can make stupid %$#@s like you squirm...

please respond because, for the time being, i find your archaic hangups and small mind amusing.

P.S. hate to burst your bubble, but @$$ is technically a cuss.. dumb%$#@


Check it out! I got another letter from this dude! Ya gotta admire his balls!

June 5, 2000

Response to a response from an angry drunken fool,
Let's discuss some ideas together, like why didn't you consider the proposition of a less angry strip. Your comic is not funny and it seems to be the therapy of an angry person. Therapy is ok, and if I didn't want to put up with your complexes I would not waste my time reading it, however I am quite concerned with you. I wish I could say you are a dangerous woman (or half-man) but you are not. You seem to spew wisdom that is only associated with the foolish ravings of a drunk. Sober up.
You will wake up.
See I don't have anything against you personally and I could even learn to like you, but people don't like angry people and other forms of downers. I just would like for you to change your strip a little, like make it funny?! Pee Wee Herman is a joke, you laugh at him, but guys like Chris Farly and Phil Hartman aren't angry and you must admit they are funny.
Perhaps you have issues with corporate America, but it is far more successful than every country, and would you like to explain to every other country how a super power is shallow?
Anyway, I am enjoying the correspondence, even though you should try to be more eloquent or creative with words that don't look like: *&^%$##@!

Peace and sobriety,

Toughguysok

WHeeeee! I'm having so much fun! Two letters in two days, I think I'm gonna creem my jeenz!
Let me see... you do have the angry drunken fool part down finally, if you make another mistake there i will have to personally reprimand you...
You've already answered your first question without realizing it dope.... the reason i don't consider making this a less angry strip is that I AM AN ANGRY PERSON... it fuels my whole creative process (well that and beer) and if you think this is unfunny you should see the tripe trash a produce when I'm trying to please people like you (or potential employers) Maybe it takes somebody who's also angry and miserable to appreciate the value of angry stuff beyond the therapy factor, but i really don't think so ... hell i know a happy well, balanced guy who couldn't get of Milk and Cheese ( and no he's not a closet psycho...)
what I'm trying to say is, that when you see somebody saying or doing angry things or producing angry art... you should try to see from his perspective what is making him angry and try to remedy that... rather that dismissing him out of hand. Meaning forcing my self to make happy lolly pop land bull$#!* while not actually feeling that way is merely treating a symptom while the disease rages unchecked...
By the way, that dangerous woman(half man) remark is pretty good.. I'm glad to see you're getting into the proper spirit of things... just a couple of remarks....
1. It would have been funnier to say "She male" than "half man"
2. are you implying that you, mr. goody two pricks, are actually misogynistic! otherwise in what way is that an insult... Maybe you have some subconscious anger problems you need to work out yourself...
Let me just point out that the reason most people don't like angry or depressed people is that these people come dangerously close to ripping down the fragile illusion americans have created for themselves to shield them from the true horror of our materialistic/consumeristic non-culture.
I do not have to admit that farly or hartman were funny (and i wont), wait a sec... whyd you pick to dead guys? what ever... and if you think for a minute that farly wasn't angry you are sorely mistaken... how else do you explain his early death as a result of bingeing on alcohol and drugs? Plus i constantly saw anger seeping thru just about ever one of his performances... explaining why most of his acts revolved around self degradation and depreciation ( In a van down by the RIVER...) maybe the reason you don't sense this maybe it's because he repressed it and twisted it all around to appease %$#@s like you, and to try and make a living... in my opinion its this repression that most likely lead to his untimely demise.
I am in no way saying that being angry is funnier in fact most of may favorite humor is non angry. But I'm not truly doing this for humor... i do it for one reason, public catharsis, i need to vent some dangerous buildup in a socially acceptable way... if i happen to entertain some people along the way (or myself) alls the better.
if you think the success of a country is based in any way on its GNP then you are sadly misled ( i don't think amercas is the largest any ways, definitely not per capita) and the mere fact that im so angry and unhappy points to a disturbing problem with our non-society. further more what does depth of character have to do with governance?

well, i gotta go finish this weeks strips, but keep up the good work you are diverting me nicely from this hell hole most people call life...

Peace and S SSss...ss So AAAGHGHGHGHH! no! i can't say it!


Woo Hoo! I Finally go a new letter!

June 4, 2000

Subject: Help us help you

As amazed as I am at the low levels of achievements you manage to invent, I still find myself possessed to wonder what it is about corporate America you can't handle. I think you should support those that are indifferent about such concepts of boy-bands, girl-bands, and other teenage aspirations. Perhaps you should stop with the bashing, come out of the proverbial closet and admit what it is that you desire.
I can't help it if you pretend to drink beer and truly love wine coolers with exotic fruit. There doesn't have to be anything wrong with that unless you won't admit it to yourself, forget what we think. Though Metallica is musically talented, they are trying to make a buck and you would do the same if I stole your characters and had them give NSYNC annual foot massages.
What I am trying to say is that I love Britney Spears and Whitney Houston b/c it sounds awesome. Forget the ideas behind the machines of corporate America, don't hate it b/c it was written by someone far more intelligent and talented than you. At least it is not tasteless like Korn and other form of bitter metal.
What little talent you may have could turn a disgraceful comic into an enjoyable one suitable for all ages. It would not be hard to insert some brightness like flowers or perhaps smiles. (Such things pop music represents. Sanatana seems to be happy now for example)
Funny is not anger it is humor like the great comedians such as Pee-Wee Herman, John Ritter, and cartoons like the Rugrats. This opposed to Howard Stern, Denis Leary, and the despondent Simpsons. Humanity deserves better than Dethboy, try to accommodate our race, if not our intelligence.

-Toughguysok

Wow! It's been a long time... Hope I still remember how to do this...
first of all let me state for this record, that because of the poor sentence structure and disjointed logic i believe this to be a joke from one of the drunken %$#@s i hang out with....
But since I'm a very bored and lonely soul I'm gonna try my hand at it...

Okay, since you have the mind of a @#$%ing sheep thats been accosted a few too many times by a frat boy, i'll learn ya whats wrong with corporations. To be succinct, the corporation is the vilest invention mankind has ever made... they gladly starve people, ruin lives and poison our minds (entertainment, news media) bodies(just about anybody that makes food, tobacco and alcohol companies) and planet( mostly the automotive industry but also anyone who manufactures anything) just to get a slightly bigger piece of our dwindling resources. Little do they realize, once they've murdered all of us, all the "wealth" in the world wont keep them from having to go out and forage for food.(or maybe they could eat all of their filthy money.
If by this time in your life you havent realized why its better to listen to honest music rather that some mind numbing corporate product, i truly pity your lack of personality... in fact i would rather be the afore mentioned sheep than your sorry @$$!
In accordance with your suggestion i will come out of the closet and tell you what i truly desire... Britnee Spears and Christina Aguilera up in my room after they've had a six pak each...(i know you don't understand because right now you're jerking it right now in some sort of sick fantasy involving all the Backstreet boys, NSYNC and a really frightening amount of chocolate syrup)
Also, i will admit to you i do love wine coolers with exotic fruit in them. because i love anything with alcohol in it, and nothing gets you in a nice murderous rage like drinking a couple of bottles of wine after drinking a case of beer.. plus all the fruit gives you vitamins so the hangover isnt so bad the next day...(get it dumb@$$? I'm a %$#@ing alcoholic and proud of it, you %$#@ing inbred dip$#!* slob, but since you have an IQ smaller than your %$#@ing nonexistent penis, your reading comprehension level is understandably low, so i'll let that one slide)
Okay i would get mad if you stole my characters and used them to live out your own weirdo bondage sexual fantasies with boy bands... BUT thats not what anybody's doing with the Metalliwhores songs.... E.G. if you started coping my strips and sharing them with all youre butt%$#@ buddies, and just generally spouting anything about me(preferably vile hateful stuff) would think about not killing you and using your skin to wipe my @$$. in fact i love anything that increases my fame, notoriety or people general sense that I'm a dangerous maniac...
I can see why you think britney spears and whitney houston(here on referred to as songstress whores) are in telligent, because like them you have no penis but unfortunately unlike them you have no boobs so i wont put up with your godawful whiney chatter. and little do you realize it was not the songstress whores who exhibited any talent in any of those recordings, but the teeming legions of writers and producers they've hired.
Hey, wait a sec, whats this bitter metal stuff your talking about? is it a new genre? what bands are in it?
Truth be told i have no talent what so ever, I'm just a desultory scum@#$% taking the lemons life gave me and making them into dangerous missile weapons. (and hopefuly seriously injuring someone with them)
With all your talk of flowers and happy faces you not only once again prove that you are some sort of sick bestiality fetishist(not that there is anything wrong with that, wait a sec there is!!) but that you really have no perception of your fellow human beings experience in life, and truth be told most people are miserable. but your filthy, rotten, middle class, whitebread, %$#@ing useless brain doesnt realize that there a people starving in this world, because you are too busy choking your %$#@ing microscopic cock to the likes of NSYNC... you are a @#$%ing waste of semen, i wouldnt cross the street to puke on you(but i would cross the street to rob you for beer money and harass all of your female relatives...)
Who da %$#@ is Sanatana!! ill just assume youre talking about Santana.... let me clue you in on something... he was never any good so it doesnt matter what he does.(i'll also excuse you on this one b/c i know you labor under the supposition that if some one is on TV they must be a role model)
I wont even go after your last paragraph b/c your total lack of any sense of humor is plainly evident to all, and is quite hilarious just the way it is.
Finally, humanity deserves nothing, b/c "humanity" is just a foolish abstract concept. and the hypocrites that espouse it are just using it as an excuse to starve some poor being out of existence and will to live... plus, you don't realize that every on on this freakishly loony planet are just monkeys throwing $#!* at each other and killing each other over grubs in the dirt ( cept our $#!* is either radioactive or poisonous and you cant eat dollar bills) evolution my @$$!

to sum up this lunatic rant, i would like to thank Alcohol (hi Beer!), psychoactive drugs, and all the people who don't believe in me for making this possible. I would like to thank women every where for my growing misogyny. and i would like to say you are way to dumb to be a mother%$#@er, plus you're too busy spilling your seed over ricky martin(make sure to wipe up you slob), so now i hereby dub you a rat@SS-%$#@er, enjoy your new status as on of the stupidest idiots on the face of this goddamned planet!


Oct. 10 1999

Subject: WHATA JERK

I AND HUNDREDS OF OTHER bsb FANS REALLY THINK U SHOULD GET A LIFE. IT IS REALLY STUPID TO WRITE STUFF LIKE THIS ON A bsb WEBSITE WHERE LITTLE CHILDREN AND EVEN DECENT ADULTS VISIT. U REALLY NEED TO CLEAN UP UR ACT. NOBODY IS INTERESTED IN UR BEING A DRUNKEN A-HOLE. THINK TWICE AND MAYBE EVEN A THIRD TIME BEFORE TALKING ABOUT URSELF THAT WAY, I don't CARE HOW MUCH LODER U ARE THAN ME.
UR A JERK,
NIKKISK8TER

First, things first, as a service to all humanity, take off the goddamn caps lock key %#$@Head! If this happens again I'm gonna have to start chopping off some thumbs. $#!*!!!

Okay, down to business what the hell are you mad about. Are you a Back Door Boys fan or something??

Your very wrong on one point though, I am VERY interested in my being a drunken @$$hole. In fact I try to practice it every day!

And finally, yes I am very much loder than you (loder?) and that gives me the right to do what ever the hell I want! Check out that blistering logic, Bastard!


Hey guys we've finally got a !@#$ing letter!

Aug. 27, 1999

Comic #23 and #24 kick @$$! The ''Calvin and Hobbs stoned'' in the sunday comic is helariouse. Gothchic rules, but in some pictures (especialy profiles) she loses her feminin look. Try refining her cartoon to make it look like the second picture of 25, a great close-up, and not like the second picture of #23.


In #23, her featuers look like, well,to be put bluntly(this is hatemail); @#$%ed. With a little cerective sergury I'm sure you can fix em' up. Also, in the second picture of #23 her back is very thick, it gives her this wierd look like she's some other species, if you arch it to make it thinner, it'll look much better. In #25 you have a shot from the back which also leaves the back loooking wierd, you might wanna try to refine cartooning womens' backs.
By the way, great expression with Gothchic in comic #15, first picture, bottom row.


A few compliments and a little constructive critisizm. Keep drawing, I love em'!

From goliath36@ayohell.com

 

CHeezus &@#$ing H. jumping bull$#!*!!! we've gotten a letter!

and I thought all you guys hated us...

well now down to business.. basically trying to ridicule EVERYONE who tries to correspond with us!!

First of all dude - what is up with your spelling? I am a firm believer in creative word building... but this is going too far.DAMN! Are you as drunk as I think I am?!?!(plus Gothchick says... if you misspell her name again you'll wake up with your eyes clawed out and possibly missing a few organs)

Secondly, you've got the numbers @#$%ed up!!! Those are the dates, doofus!! e.g. Aug 15th Aug 23rd, etc, etc. Comic strip #1 is Aug. 9th so get with the plan dumb@#$%!!!

But if you're becoming infatuated with Gothchick, just wait until next week when goth takes on punk in a series I can only call "When $#!*heads Clash"

I'm in the middle of a process of consuming 36 or so beers right now so I have no more time to waste on you...

So the Alcoholic Avatar now bids you farewell with a friendly , Kill 'em All!

Oct. 10 1999

Whats up Metalhead?
Good work on the strip allthough i do have to agree a little with the super pretentous guy from AmatureTeens.com you do tend to parody too much, but hell writing and drawing a strip a day is rough. At least you admit that its cheap and easy (i don't remember what day, I don't really care)Is your comic going to be reprints of this $#!* i have allready seen? don't change your art for any
lonely guy who want to beat off to your Goth. Its fine. The thing that mystifies me is how you can like Metallica so much, they may not have sold out (you cant sell out if thats your intention from the begining) but their music sucks latlely, no, not even lately, they haven't put out anything excellent since Master of Muppets. What scares me even more is how you can stand to drink Iron City. I'm sure whatever comes out of Javadog would taste better. If you
want to support your local brewerys at least dring Yeungling, cheap and kick @$$ Lagar that it is. Later
-Jeff

Let's see now... the comic book is going to be an all new 24 page comic, black and white, blah, blah, blah. I've got to find some funding for it now since I'm not getting that Xeric grant. ($#!*!!)

As for my taste in Metal and Beer, I really can't put up a defense for it because it's a totally aesthetic decision, and what you do or do not like is not really based in logic. It's about time we stop getting on each others nerves about things like that. For example, I think Yeungling tastes like the crap I puke up every %$#@ing morning but you have a perfect right to think it tastes like am-%$#@ing-brosia. Hell, in fact I do drink it myself because beer is beer.

But you do get a big "%$#@ Yeah!" for actually having the balls to admit it has nothing to do with selling out, and it's all about that you flat out think it sucks.


 WOW!! This one's a scorcher!!
I love it HEHHEHHE..

Sept 1st, 1999

Dethboy and Rejects,

Please give up. Your comic strip, as you call it, sucks more than the
girls on AmateurTeens.com. You are lowering the standard for even the most tasteless of websites. Your art sucks, your strips are devoid of any originality or wit, and your characters are boring, uninteresting, and cliche. Perhaps that is your only strength: to gather and plagiarize from the most brilliant and popular cartoonists and somehow manage to convert their clever ideas into the worthless $#!* on your site. Even on a medium like the web which can make even the most useless and boring material popular, your site is forever condemned to mediocrity. I have started a petition to have you removed from the web on account of your selfish desire to lure in unsuspecting webusers with a bait of intellectual and artistic creativity that quickly shows itself for what it is: a mockery of all the art and creativity that our civilization has strived to promote and preserve. I hope you die in a fire and all of your "art" is burned with you so that in thousands of years when historians look back on our era they won't stumble on anything of yours and lable our time-period "The Great Decline ofHumanity".


Burn in Hell
Dethboy's arch-enemy Lifeboy

from lifeboy11@yah-who.com

Okay first things first..
Hmm.. www.amateurteens.com... loading...
Not bad.. seen better....
wait a bloody @#$%ing second!
Why is this your first reference point of a bad website?
Do you frequent it or sites like it alot? AHA! I've got it...
You most likely own it and are just trying to get it mentioned somewhere... Good Luck with your porn mongering, dude...
maybe when your raking it in you can give us a lucrative advertising contract!!

Keep in touch.. hope to see ya soon!